Pen pals: SC State alumnus finally meets woman who wrote to him as a teen during Vietnam War

ORANGEBURG, S.C. – Nearly 10,000 miles from the familiar surroundings of South Carolina’s Low Country, young soldier Ned Felder received a package that brought him a touch of home and a lasting connection.

The year was 1967, and the U.S. was embroiled in the Vietnam War.

The 1959 South Carolina State University alumnus was a captain in the Army, and what he received in the mail was a care package addressed to any soldier.

With it was a letter from 13-year-old Kristina “Kris” Olson, a seventh grader who had collected toiletries for soldiers as a member of the Campfire Girls in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Felder was so moved by her letter that he wrote back, and the two continued to correspond for several years, even after the war.

He said that first letter arrived through “divine guidance.”

“It was rich, emotional – someone, a little girl in seventh grade -- being able to correspond with her,” Felder said. “I think that sort of interface with GIs and civilians occurred in other wars. It made me feel good to be able to keep in touch with someone back home, in addition to my family.”

Fast forward 56 years to Veterans Day on Nov. 11, 2023. After she tracked him down via the internet and reached out, again by mail, Felder finally met his young pen pal -- now known by her married name, Kris Feeney -- on his alma mater’s campus.

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Feeney described the moment she laid eyes on Felder as surreal. Both held back tears.

“Can you imagine something from your childhood or teenage years -- something that was just an enigma -- to become a reality?” Feeney said. “It’s unbelievable.”

Felder’s correspondence was large in Feeney’s world, as the war and Vietnam were far removed from her reality in Michigan.

“Just to see something that came from Vietnam at that time – my life used to be very sheltered, and my high school was in an apple orchard – so anything that worldly was incredible,” she said. “He made me want to be a better person, which is the best thing I can say about anyone. I like to be around people who make me want to be the best person I can be.”

Felder even sent the teen a doll from Vietnam inscribed with both their names. Feeney treasures that gift, birthday cards, a book about Vietnam and other items he sent over the years.

“I have everything he’s ever sent me. I showed that to anyone in my life who meant anything to me at all, so a lot of people knew about you,” Feeney said, addressing Felder.

“He’s just one of the most significant people in the world I’ve ever known,” she added later. “You’ve lived your life to be just an amazing example to the rest of the world.”

Felder, who also earned his law degree from SC State in 1961, eventually rose to the rank of colonel and served as senior judge on the U.S. Army Court of Criminal Appeals, which is the highest tribunal in the Army. Now retired, he is enshrined in the SC State University Army ROTC Hall of Fame.

Although the two stopped corresponding in the mid-1970s, Feeney kept Felder in her mind. She looked him up several times just to read about him, and last summer, she confirmed his current address in Virginia by contacting SC State’s Alumni Affairs Office.

“A lot of things have happened in my life that made me want to recall things that were important to me,” Feeney said, referring in part to the deaths of her husband and son. “It made me think about your (Felder’s) life and the things that are important.”

After receiving her latest letter over the summer, Felder invited Feeney to meet him at SC State’s Military Appreciation Day at SC State’s final home football game of the season, which fell on Veterans Day this year. Feeney had relocated to Greenville, South Carolina, two years earlier, so SC State was a convenient place for the two to meet. He brought his son to meet her, as well.  SC State honored both on the football field during the game.

“Our pen pal relationship was so pure because it reflected our innermost feelings, and the experience was so rich because it proved that strangers, young and old in distant places, can find rewards in one another,” he said. 

“There was no requirement to do what we did at all, and it’s real,” Felder said as he sat with Feeney. “There was a feeling of wonder, and even today, it just exceeds that feeling.”